Here’s another interesting little funny Saab ad.
This SAAB is “imagining” that he is James Bond, personally:
My name is Saab. James Saab. I have specially manufactured this Saab for Secret Agents, Government Operatives (you know who you are), getaway drivers, people who want to Roll Coal but can’t afford the giant lifted pickup, or battlefield visibility hindering operations.
This 2003 Saab 9-5 Linear with 130k miles and clear NH title was my family’s backup car, bought just barely broken in at 100,000 miles a few years ago. It has since been modified for Agent Operations as follows:
1: I have allowed the turbocharger to fail in a way that causes the vehicle to emit truly staggering amounts of smoke when the engine runs. Need to perform Evasive Maneuvers? No problem! This smoke screen is on ALL THE TIME so no need to hit any extra buttons to hide the car from the bad guys. (note: this feature requires the use of a fair amount of engine oil). To disable this feature, please install a new or rebuilt turbocharger.
2. I have allowed a small hole in the seal between the gas tank and the underseat area to occur, which lights up the check engine light, and leaves a faint smell of fuel inside and behind the vehicle. This is designed to frighten and nauseate your pursuers. If you want to disable this feature, a new gasket or a bit of aviation sealant are required.
3. Even if you are not being pursued, or in a chase of any kind, and are on a boring commute, every so often, almost every light on the dashboard comes on just to wake you up! This is a great feature for long drives, as big red exclamation points, brake warnings, all kinds of stuff pops up. Red Alert!! (Note: No braking or operational systems are actually affected by these lights. Lights apparently for entertainment purposes only, and they reset when you turn the car off and on again.)
All other body panels, interior, tires and wheels, seats, airbags, electronics etc. are unmodified, in excellent working order, and in good condition, with the exception of air conditioning, which was disabled to produce Extra Power. The air conditioning unit may actually have been installed in another vehicle by mistake.
Details of the selling of this vehicle are HIGHLY CLASSIFIED. Please respond via anonymous repeater (Craigslist does that for you) with interest. Once you have been vetted and passed security clearance I will respond. PRICE NEGOTIABLE. Code name: Purple Bollocks. Code Response: Limburger Motorcycle.